A little ink, and other things

On Paul and I's 5 year anniversary ( July 25th) we made it a night to remember and I got my brother's signature tattooed on my foot. I never EVER thought I would get a tattoo, but I also never could have imagined losing someone I loved so much. (why not just toss a little tattoo in the mix, keep things interesting, I'm forever changed by my loss, and this a tiny outward sign). There have been Hellish weeks, the week leading up to the tattoo probably my worst yet, the pain of grief is real. And the depth of my sorrow is matched by the height of the love we shared. I miss him, and it's only just begun.



Well this little blog of mine seems to have found a bit of natural stopping place. ( noooooooo!!!!!) My hope is to make a new Web site that will meet the needs of my booming photography business (wink) and include a mini personal blog on it. It's been about 5 years! Wow, and what a fun little journal I have made here on the internet, I have looked back through old posts many a time and know I will continue to enjoy looking back at those days of working part time and crafting my heart out, to the focus shifting to photography and then of course to babies! Thanks for indulging me friends and family, and following along.



I just grabbed a few....

 

The Rio Frio and Garner State Park

Paul thought i was silly for actually taking a tube and proclaiming that i was gonna float down that 6 inch deep freezing water. but it was pretty fun, Amelia was unsure, but did pretty well. 

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gotcha!

!!!

we were so proud of Amelia she "hiked" all the way back from the river bank to our cabin by herself! All the while wearing these tiny reef flip flops. The same flip flops I would wear day in day out no matter my activity ( hiking, repelling, climbing, horseback riding) while being a counselor at summer camp. Our camp director would always yell as I was saddling horses or something "where are your shoes!!?" #flipflopsforlife  (but really I packed real shoes for her too)

Garner state park, we only stopped by but it was so pretty! if you're the camping type, I would recommend this place...

not wanting to pose for a pic

enormous cedar trees


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The babes were taking their nap, Paul too, and I took myself down to this beautiful clear spot to take a time out.  Floating here, feeling the sun, drinking a beer, a time when in my past life I would have just soaked up the moment and felt the all encompassing joy that this life has provided me, that God had provided me. This time, it was a was a chance for me take a timeout from my duties, let the pain, disbelief, and anger wash over me. A chance to let some tears come out. How things have changed! No longer do I feel the protection from God that I used to, the comfort that he will keep my blessings safe. No matter how many times a day I thank Him for each and every one,  He most certainly will not save me from tragedy. That thought alone used to be too scary to even think about, and here I am being forced to live with that truth.  I am being called to a much deeper, more mature understanding of who God is, and I'm not yet ready to embrace it.  Nothing is the same, though life just moves on, despite us.  

New York photos

We took our trip to New York City this past week. We did the best we could, considering the circumstances, and tried to enjoy the city and its offerings for a couple days. Monday was beautiful weather and I have the photos to prove it!   

I have thought about writing a blog post about how I/we are doing in this wake of our loss of Greg. It all is just too awful/crazy/complicated and I don't think a blog post would shed enough light on anything. But I want to say thank you to all those friends of mine and my family's who have been praying for us, thinking of us, who have sent cards or messages. It all means a lot. And I appreciate it.

now here are some photos

Amelia stayed home with her Grandma Tina, and they had a great time! And Georgie was an all star baby traveler and came with us. 

hehehe!

please pause for nursing mothers

these two.

swoon

he fell asleep! always a mix of emotions when your 20+ pounder finally passes out in the baby carrier. oof!

Georgie's big ole top toofers 

(heart)

(heart)

love this lady